I woke up this morning to Peanutbutter nuzzled in the clean laundry, which means there is now hair on everything. Then I look down and see that there are some nice black puked up fur balls compliments of Spunky. I also realize the cat’s food dishes are empty so I go to the laundry room to get the bag and I see that the door was left open and Badger had once again found the food bag and ripped giant holes in it, as if there was a dog in the house and the only safe hiding place was inside this bag of food. Who ever said cats were easy?

Last night it was hot in the house so we opened up the windows, but we can’t open them too much because Peanutbutter, the new addition to the family, wants to go outside but I won’t let her until she gets used to our house and figures out that her old house is no more.

Anyway so the window was open and I was sitting by it on the bed when Badger jumper up into the window box. He does this all evening long, in and out, in and out, in and out. Since the window wasn’t open enough for him to get in I was reaching to open it when Michael noticed that he had a mouse. He brought us a present.

Just like every other time I have seen one of the cats with a mouse I kind of freaked out for a second but then I calmed down and talked to him in my good kitty mamma voice and told him good job but then shut the window.

I can appreciate that he kills the mice, albeit slow and painfully, but he is not bringing that shit into the house. Badger stayed at the window looking in at us with the mouse in his mouth and the look of a crazed hunter in his eyes. He just sat there. Okay Badger we get it, you’re awesome…

Michael thought he saw the mouse moving still so he went out to try to put it out of its misery but Badger wouldn’t let him anywhere near. We continued to watch tv while sitting on the bed by the cracked open window and every few minutes I looked out to see Badger still playing with the mouse. One minute he’s throwing it around on the porch just like his little neon colored catnip filled mice and the next he’s over in the driveway crunching away on it.

The crunching started about 5 minutes after I asked Michael why they never eat the mice. It was gross… I wanted to shut the window but it was hot. I watched CSI with a tiny breeze coming in through the window that couldn’t be fully opened while listening to my cute cat eat a mouse. It was pretty amazing.

Today is Saturday. Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. How did I get to be 27 years old? I mean, it feels like yesterday I was 17, and now suddenly I am 27?? my 25th birthday was hard but the closer I creep to 30 the more weirded out I get because I just do not feel like I should be this old. I know 27 is young, blah blah blah, but seriously, it’s 27!

Spunky scratched me today. She’s getting really bitchy since I brought Blacky into the house and I think she might be bipolar. One minute I am petting her and she’s purring then the next minute she reaches around and tears into my flesh like she suddenly remembered that I let that skank ass cat into her house and she hates me for it.

Speaking of skank ass cats, I took Blacky to the vet again yesterday to get her checked out and apparently to get your cats teeth cleaned it costs damn near $400. Um…. yowsa! The vet told me last week that Blacky has a broken canine tooth with an exposed nerve or root or something and that it is probably very painful to her but that animals dont really express their pain.

So here I have this cat, this cute little friendly stray porch cat who I fed all summer and who I fell in love with and here she has to go pulling at my heart strings by getting all ill and costing me a kah-billion dollars. How can I as a human with a heart and feelings just let her live with tooth pain, I mean tooth pain?!?! thats the worst pain!

I HAVE to stop looking at stray cats, I cannot even make eye contact with them. They will see right through me and pretty soon I will have 500 cats, no boyfriend and work 60 hours weeks just so I can buy cat food. That is not going to happen to me. I am strong, I can say no, I can give my 3 cats the best life ever and ignore the rest of ‘em.

Oh golly, there is the cutest little kitty on my porch, I’ll write more later.

Today is day four of mission Make Blacky All Better, and I am pleased to announce she is eating. She hasn’t eaten for a week so this is a big deal! The vet said a cat’s appetite is very closely linked the their sense of smell so maybe this means she can smell again. Whatever the reason I am very, very happy she is feeling better.

I would include a picture of her but her eye is still really gross and I’m not trying to make anyone puke today.

Since I now have three cats I am OFFICIALLY a crazy cat lady by my own definition of the term. Though I may have joked about my being a crazy cat lady I told myself that having two cats was in no way crazy…but three was pushing it.

There has been this cute black cat hanging out on our porch since this summer and I have fed her, talked to her, pet her and even let her stay the night in the house once when Michael was in Seattle. She’s totally sweet and now officially part of the family.

We got home from the coast this afternoon and Blacky (yes a very original and thought out name) had a super puffy eye and a runny nose. It sounded like she could barely breathe. Off to the emergency vet clinic we went!

Though there is something else that happened at the vet, probably worthy of it’s own blog post, I will keep this on topic. They cleaned out Blacky’s eye and told us she had an abscess in her face that could be caused by a bad tooth but they won’t really know until it goes down a bit. We left there $200 lighter but in the coming week Blacky should be feeling a lot better. She gets to sleep in the house now so I think she is one happy camper.

I love having pets. They amuse me. They always love ya too, those little pets. When you come home, they are there. When you just want to lay down and forget the world, they are there. When you want to laugh they are definitely there.

So three cats…hmmm. We’ll see how this goes. Pictures will be taken as soon as Blacky doesn’t look like the victim of “this product was tested animals”. For the record Spunky hates her…with a capital H. Can we say jealous?

About 6 years ago I wrote a paper about de-clawing cats and how I was opposed to such acts. I found this awesome veterinarian who invented these glue-on caps, called Soft Paws, you put over the cats claws so they can’t gethca. I was ordering them faster than i can chug a gallon of chocolate milk.

Spunky has worn them off and on since I discovered them (off because I am lazy) and they work beautifully if you don’t want the kitty claws tearing into your beautiful furniture.

I recently bought Badger some but mis judged his claw size and got him gray caps that were too small so he got stuck with Spunky’s pink ones. He’s a boy and all but I like to think he’s no homophobe. Pink rocks!

I just got home from school and while I was gone Spunky caught a mouse and killed it. I’m sure she tortured it to death, but I didn’t have to see it so I’ll just let myself think that he died of a heart attack when he saw how fat she was. It’s not a good week for mice around these parts…