I am sick today, I was sick yesterday, I hope I’m not sick tomorrow. Kendel and I just went to Safeway to pick up a few last minute items for our dinner tomorrow which we are having at Michael’s apartment because the oven we have here doesn’t maintain a constant temperature.

All day yesterday I laid on the couch, all day today I laid on the couch. I normally would love to have an actual reason for not leaving the couch but it just so happened that this week I was working on some things I was quite excited about so I’m super bummed I got sick.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What do I have to be thankful for this year? hmm. I don’t really feel thankful for too much as I really consider this to be my worst year to date. In fact I’m sure if I won the lottery right now I would find something to bitch and moan about, like… I won so much money that I get a check every month and damn the monthly check because it means I have to go to the bank and damn the bank because it’s in safeway and damn safeway because they have the carrot cake and damn the carrot cake because that’s why I’m fat and damn the fat because that’s why my jeans won’t fit and damn the jeans because 32 is the biggest size and just damn, damn, damn. Then I would just bitch about how now that I have money the whole world treats me different and damn the world for wanting my money.

But if I really thought about it… I am thankful to have Kendel. Right now she is one of the most important people in my life and if she weren’t here with me right now I don’t know what I’d be doing because I sure as hell can’t get through what I’m going through alone. The fact that I don’t have to sit here alone while I isolate myself from the world is a pretty good thing.

I am also thankful for Ellie. It’s just so hard to hate the world when she smiles at me. Being around a baby also reminds me that I should take some time out every day to just sit around and make faces at people, sometimes they smile.

I’m very thankful to the friends I have who have listened to me and taken the time to hang out with me or make me feel like they care. It’s hard to rock the boat, especially when you live in it, but if you have people standing around with life jackets you feel a little less like you are going to end up drowning.

I’m sure I am thankful for many other things but right now they are under a pile of shit I am not thankful for so you’re gonna have to give me a year to dig that stuff out. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I hope the turkey treats you well.

This is definitely the birthday weekend, my little sister Kendel turns 17 today and Michael is 26 tomorrow. At least I get to eat lots of cake without feeling like a piggy pooh, I mean it’s rude not to eat cake at someone’s party, right? Right! Mmmmm.

My birthday was 2 weeks ago and Michaels mom made me the best chocolate cake I have ever had in my life, seriously! It was so freaking yum-a-licious! Though most things taste better when someone else makes them and I am also a baker-galore so most of the treats I eat are made by me, it was nice to have a change of pace for my birthday. Thanks for the best birthday cake ever Marlee!!

We (Michael, Katie and I) cut down the forest the day after Thanksgiving. We got a tree for the river house, one for us and one for my mom. We got to do a little 4×4 ‘n too! We had a blast and kinda froze our arses off but hey, what’s christmas without a beautiful tree, or three? Anyway here is the MAGNIFICENT BEING that is the tree at the river house:

It almost caved the roof of the Jeep in but not quite, just almost. Marlee and I decorated it entirely by ourselves, no help from the couch warmers. Michael and I stayed two nights out there and left around 10p.m. on Saturday night. We had tons of fun. I made dough ornaments, cookies and we chilled out and watched some cool movies. It’s just an good ol time out there!

No, that’s not our turkey, I’m just using it to get you in the turkey day mood. It looks awful good though . . .

Anyway, I got up at 7 this morning and looked out the front window to see the coolest sky in the world. The clouds were pink and they looked really neat so I grabbed the camera, threw on my sweater and ran out in the 26 degrees of cold and took some snapshots. There was frost everywhere and pink, pink pink in the sky. The pink faded really fast, but I tried to catch it:

Here is the frosty ground, looks pretty. . .