For the third morning in a row I have woken up siiiiiiick. I don’t know what it is, evening rolled around last night and I was feeling a bit better, then morning comes, 8 o’clock in the morning… and I feel like I just got flushed down the toilet. Being sick is really getting me down over here.

Wednesday night I had my second anxiety attack in the history of this little life of mine. My first was was right after the holidays. Both of them came when I was trying to go to sleep. The one I just had was worse than the first. I was trying not to panic so it would go away but it hurt like hell. One way I was trying to calm myself was to really pay attention to what I was feeling. The best way I can describe it is this: I felt like King Kong had reached into my window, grabbed me from my bed and was slowly squeezing me harder and harder in his fist.

I got a piercing headache first, then severe nausea, shooting pains in my back and a huge pressure on my chest quickly followed. It felt exactly like I was being squeezed and that I was going to pop like a balloon. It lasted for about 15 minutes, I timed it out of curiosity. Weird thing is that both times this happened to me I really wasn’t thinking about anything at all.

Anyway, I just emailed all my teachers and paid my first tuition installment online and now I am going back to bed right after I take my echinacea (Thanks Lisa!) and drink some water. Happy friday foxygreeners!

So I went to the doctor today and she went over my blood work with me and I am as normal as normal can be so I decided that I would try out some medication for awhile. I am totally pretty much the kind of person that tries to do everything but medicate but I feel like in this case right now I need something to get me out of this hole before I can even start doing one of many other things that might help make me a happier person.

I was prescribed Wellbutrin because I guess its good for my kind of depression which is pretty much vegetative as the doctor called it. At first I was just going to try it out an not really tell anyone but I don’t know why I wouldn’t tell anyone, who cares. It doesn’t make me any less of a person just because I decide to look for help in a pill. The doctor told me that since my depression has been going for awhile now that this might help give me the boost I need to get back into some sort of normal daily life routines. So here’s to hoping there IS magic in pills!

I’m going to start counseling too and will be sure to share any enlightening things that come about through that. How’s that for taking some action?