Yesterday Kendel and I went to the gym in the morning and I left the front window open so the cats could go outside after they woke up and stretched and yadda yadda. Yeah my cats sleep in. Anyway, we get back from the gym and Badger just happens to be in the middle of munching on a bluejay. I was completely grossed out at having to witness this snack.

Badger has the worst gas ever, he can seriously make you go running from the house because you think the strench of his fart is going to soak into your hair and never leave. I know he eats animals, I know he murders on a daily basis. That’s all wonderful but I don’t want to see the dead bodies and I definitely do not want to see the lower half of a bird hanging out of his mouth.

I tried to shoo him out the door but he growled at me. Like I was trying to steal his birdy breakfast from him or something. He didn’t want to go out but I finally got him out and he jumped right back in the window so quick. I think he was more concerned with us knowing that he had caught and was in the middle of eating this bird than he was with just eating the bird in general.

Needless to say I bought a collar with a bell on it for my little murdering baby. I actually really like that Badger is a real cat and is willing to get dirty and kill his own meals. He is an animal after all and it’s nice to see that domestication hasn’t taken everything from him.

The lady across the street from me asked me to do a few things for her and one of them was to paint a second coat of paint on the walls of her living room. She’s paying me $10 an hour to do random things and it’s nice because I do all the work in the morning and lord knows I need a reason outside myself right now to get outta bed. boo hoo.

So the other day I was over there painting when I got a call from Merry. I was standing in front of the big open windows just chatting away when I noticed Badger started to stroll down my driveway. He just kept strolling right across the street and when he reached the sidewalk he locked eyes with me and ran over to the window. He had heard my voice and was tracking me down. I had to interrupt Merry to tell her that Badger had heard me talking to her and had come over right to the window and was meowing at me, like what the hell are you doing over here be-otch?

It was really cute and it made me smile cause Badger looooooves me.

Side note: I was at the fabric store today and buttons were 50% off so I bought some cute ones, its weird how sales work, you end up buying shit you don’t even need just because now it’s cheaper than it was before. Sales are good if it’s on something you were already planning to buy but for me I always end up buying dumb brightly colored cute shit just because it’s on sale. Hell, sometimes I buy that shit and it ISN’T on sale. Anyway, I need to make a vest now so I can sew all my happy buttons to it and be the crazy cat girl with the ridiculous button covered vest.

I went to bed last night determined to wake up and have a better day today. I woke up at 5:30 because the house was filled with the stench of rotten cat ass. I have been making the cats stay outside at night because they just drive me insane, but last night I decided to be nice and let them all sleep on top of me so they knew I still loved them…

Have you ever been startled awake by a smell? Today was my first time. One of my 3.5 cats had taken a huge dump in the kitchen and the smell was trying to suffocate me. It was 5:30 am and I was cleaning up cat shit, not the start I wanted to have for this day but I’m rolling with it. I cleaned up the cap and threw all the cats out onto the porch since there was no telling who the poopy culprit was.

It was rainy and I felt bad but as I tried to go back to sleep and kept smelling shit I wasn’t feeling so bad. I love animals, my cats are the dope bomb most of the time but like anything else I get sick of the responsibility from time to time.

Last night Badger slept curled up in my armpit and Peanutbutter slept on my legs. Spunky was at my feet and Blacky was out in the living room, probably trying to mastermind some sort of shitty plan that would wake me up at some ungodly hour.

I took some cute pictures of Ellie in the bath this morning and posted them to flickr. I’m convinced she is the cutest thing on the planet but I am her auntie so my opinion is a little biased. Anyway, that’s all I have to report at the moment :)

I’m really not feeling well today but I still managed to drive Kendel around and get a bit of work done. I came home and watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and I think it did me some good, I haven’t chilled out and watched a movie by myself in awhile. Right now I’m watching some Northern Exposure. Love that show.

My plan wasn’t to get on here just to peck out all the random details of my day but rather to share some of the cat insanity with you. Blacky is back from vacation, or hell maybe THIS is her vacation, either way she’s back with her snot nosed self and has already sneezed some nice juicy boogers on my arm.

The thing with Blacky is, Spunky LOATHES her. Its not the normal kind of hate that some cats have for eachother, its a kind of hate all its own. Spunky pretty much just walks around the house growling and hissing. Even when I snuggle her up and love on her she will suddenly bite me and growl like there are some wires crossed in her head.

Its pretty funny but I feel bad for her, like I am putting her under a great amount of stress for letting Blacky be in the house. She’ll get over it and until then I will just pet her with caution.

So having Blacky in the house means there are four furry friends under my roof. I love my furry friends but sometimes I feel like a zoo keeper with all the feelings and shit scooping. Its real work taking care of these monsters.

Really what is crazy though is that the furnalls are drawn to me as if I put out some sort of scent. Maybe its just that my house & everything around it smells like cat turds, I dont know. I’d like to think it is me they are drawn to though. Anyways, there is a new potential burden hanging out around my porch and at a low moment last week I went out and called to it. She came slowly and with a lot of hesitation but she did let me pet her and now I am her hero or something. She thinks I am the one human in the world who isn’t going to kill her and she keeps trying to weasel her way in the front door.

I must quit talking to stray cats!! I really dont want to be the crazy cat lady. I just want to be that silly girl that takes too many pictures of her cats.

I pecked this out on my phone, it didn’t flow as well as it was going in my head but my fingers can’t move that fast. I’m going to eat some velveeta shells & cheese now cause its in the cupboard calling out to me.

dear oh dear, my oh my. What to even write here, so many things…hard to choose. I wrote a blog post in a notebook last week, some good that does you huh? I wrote one on my computer last night but it started going in so many directions it was turning into a book. I still might post that and type out the other written blog but then I have to go hijack some wireless and upload it and that just takes so much effort I dont know if I’ll do it. :)

Anyways. I apologize in advance for typos, this post is brought to you by the iPhone & a tall glass of mug rootbeer. Oh I DO love my rootbeer’s … Just not Barq’s, its gross. My little blue clunker clunked out last Friday. Its at the mechanic right now so I hope to have it back soon so I can continue to drive my sister around because that’s just what I do.

Kendel is currently studying the drivers manual & I’m taking her to get her permit in 2 weeks. I hope she passes it. If she could drive that would just make my life wonderful, I would never leave the house at all haha. Yeah I laugh but its true. I need to get my ass in gear, I’m the saddest excuse for a life right now. It seems like it’d be easy to just jump up and start doing things that would make my life better but it really is a struggle for me, maybe you understand, maybe you’ve been there, maybe you think I’m pathetic, it is what it is.

I have been journaling so much in the past month. Its crazy how much I feel like it helps me. In a way when you put something down on paper you can just let go of it. All that journaling is part of the reason I haven’t been around here lately. I’ll try to find a happy medium though and continue to entertain you with my small paragraphs.

Right now I have so much I could write about but its slow going here on my iPhone, I have not yet mastered the two hand typing so its just one finger doing all of this magic. I am gettng kind of fast with one finger but with just a touch screen and no buttons it is too easty to hit the wrong keys.

I’m still going to counseling once a week and its going pretty good. Kendel is working ALOT so i have baby ellie for most of everyday. Its getting really hard on me because she’s teething and wants to be held all the time. She’s amazing though and one of the few things that makes me feel truly joyful right now. I love her like I pushed her out myself.

I have lots more to share but I have to put a bit more thought into it before I just barf some stuff up on here. This won’t be the last of me.

So Blacky is back hanging around here and it’s got me thinking. Why am I the person that will spend $400 on a cat that has hardly even been around for a year and THEY are the people who can just shove her snorty-stuffy nosed butt right out the door.

Blacky has been in the house all day for two days now and I have to put her outside to sleep in a box on the porch at night because no one can sleep through her sneezing and wheezing. The whole time I lie in bed trying to sleep I am feeling bad that she is out there in pain and I am in here in my bed. I made her a special bed I feed her special food and yet I feel guilty for putting her outside at night because I don’t want to wake up with her sneezing right in my face getting her boogers in my hair.

I don’t understand how some people have no regard for the life of animals. Yeah, sure maybe they can’t afford to take her to the vet and maybe her sniffling is keeping them up all night and maybe they don’t want her spewing gross snot all over when she sneezes but I put a tag on Blacky…with my phone number, and they removed it.

She came back again and I put another collar on her, I wrote out a long note and I put it in a plastic bag and safety pinned it to her collar. A few days later Blacky was back and the safety pin had been removed. All this trouble I go through and sure again, maybe these people don’t speak english but numbers are numbers and I’m sure they know at least ONE person who knows english that could call me and talk to me about this damn cat. I just don’t get it.

I’m broke as it is but I already know that I am buying NOTHING that isn’t necessary until I have the $400 to get Blacky’s tooth pulled. There is just this place in my heart for animals and watching her suffer is killing me. I don’t know how people do it. I don’t know how people can move and leave a pet behind, I don’t know how people can drive out to the middle of nowhere and drop their unwanted pet off, I don’t know how people can leave a litter of kittens in a box behind some random industrial building that is nowhere near a neighborhood with people that might actually want to take a kitten into their home, I don’t know how people can just put their pets down because they are too lazy to find some other alternative.

These are domesticated animals, animals that were pretty much bred to depend on humans to live, and here people go just kicking them to the curb like they are nothing. I put animals on the same level as humans. Yeah I might be a bit crazy but I feel like my pets need to be talked to and that the tone of my voice matters. I feel like they need to be snuggled and petted just like I need to be hugged, I feel like every once in awhile they need a treat just like I do. To me looking into the eyes of an animal is no different to me than looking into the eyes of a person.

I have been this way since I can remember, I love animals so much and I just can’t understand how people don’t feel the same as me. It’s mind boggling to me. A pet is the best friend you could ever have and they should be treated with the same, if not more, respect as your fellow human. that’s my rant for tonight. If you are feeling charitable you can make a donation to the save Blacky fund at anytime.

Kendel and I go to Target A LOT. You might even say it’s our favorite store. Anyway at Target there is this section of cheap shit right as you walk in where like everything is a dollar or two and I am normally annoyed by it’s presence (because who can resist a green spatula that is only $1?!?!) but for some reason the last time we were there I didn’t listen to the voice in my head saying “no, don’t do it, don’t go look at all the cheap shit” because I saw something…something green…with sparkles! omg!! yaay!! weee heee!! (I’m easily excited about green stuff!)

They had all this holiday crap and one section was dog collars. Green glittery dog collars. Spunky is essentially a dog, I mean she’s 14 pounds and plays fetch so she’s far more like a dog than a cat. I bought three of them, one for each cat (minus Blacky because she already has a collar AND she isn’t even around) but Spunky is the only one who can wear the collar as-is. I have to poke more holes in the other two so Badger and Peanubutter can get in on the action.

Here is Spunky in all her glittery green glory. I can’t explain to you how much I love this collar, finding it was the highlight of my week. Almost.

I didn’t think I would get anything for finally posting that post I just posted below but boy was I wrong. This sunny beautiful morning my snot nosed Blacky returned after being MIA for 9 weeks. 9 weeks to the damn day! She looks perfectly healthy except for a runny nose and it doesn’t seem like she has missed a single meal so I don’t know what the hell is up with her, she must have a vacation home. Last time she came back I dosed her with Advantage Flea medicine within an hour and she didn’t like me much so I think I am going to do that tomorrow. The crazy cat lady has all her babies, could things be looking up?