I was totally loving this whole blogging thing and imagining people reading what I wrote and laughing so hard they peed their pants, but then I just stopped. I still love it and the idea of being able to change so many lives through my funny stories and all but I have just been really side tracked.
In December I had a boob job. Yup I’m just throwing it out there like that. Kind of a personal thing but also something that is kinda on the outside and noticeably different about me. When people are working on themselves from the inside they don’t really have to talk about it you know, but when you do something external, like get new boobies, you kinda have to talk about it. I’m not into the girls that do it and then pretend they were born that way, like “Oh my god, no! I am all natural, implants are so trashy!” So anyway, that’s that. I have fake boobs to go along with my fake personality, ha ha just kidding about that last part, “Oh my god, fake personalities are so trashy, mine is totally real!”
So before the fake boobs I was just a small town girl wearing a padded A cup bra like it was my bulletproof vest. I never left home without it, no one wants to walk through the ‘hood at night without their vest! So I have traded up my vest for an actual bra. I’m a 36D now, oh my god! Again kidding. I’m a 36B and I am feeling pretty good now. You know it’s hard to try and be a woman when you see yourself as an 11 year old girl before you step into the shower. I have to tell you the truth though, they are something to get used to! At first my skin was so tight because they had to shove the little boobies into my flat chest and the skin was stretched to the max. It felt so weird. They are looser now, so that is better.
Another little thing about being a woman is the ability to walk into Victoria’s Secret and buy a cute little bra, or any freaking bra for that matter. This is a luxury I got to experience this past week. I had once got a bra at Victoria’s Secret when I was in high school, it was the smallest one in the entire store and I bought it. The funny thing is that it didn’t even fit me. Two of my friends always shopped there and one day they told me to try some stuff on and that “of course you can wear an A cup” well little did they know, that no, me, Laycie, could in fact NOT wear an A cup. I bought the bra out of embarrassment, and also because I really wanted a Victoria’s Secret bra. Anyway, the bra totally was too big for me and I never wore it, but I had it in my drawer and I fantasized about wearing it. So that was AWESOME!
Well now I can walk in and grab all the 36B bras I want and try them on and pick and coose the ones I like. The past 10 years of my life I got my padded bulletproof vest from Target. I had to have the same style bra to wear everyday because it was in fact, my chest. Over the years I got a rainbow of colors and had much fun with the bulletproof vests but it was so lame! I just wanted to be girly and fill up a bra, any bra! So being able to do that now is really really cool. I know I am probably going way too in depth here but you read this blog because you want to know me right, that means present and past fools! One thing I can gurantee is that your face probably looks nothing like what Herm’s did when I told him bluntly 10 days before surgery “I’m having a breast augmentation”. If you want to see people studder and kind of act really peculiar just tell them you are having a boob job, it’ll do the trick every time. he he.
You can ask me whatever questions you want, I will give you the skinny on the #1 cosmetic surgery procedure! I might even let you feel them, if you buy me a cookie!
